The thing to remember about eternal damnation is that it is the choice of the damned themselves. God is just letting the damned have what they want: alienation from him (this being the basic form of all pain (of everything that is defective)). God can’t make alienation from him other than what it is; so, he can’t make hell all nicey-nice. Alienation from God just is painful, in the same way that triangularity just is trigonality. The relation between alienation from God and suffering pain is one of logical entailment.
God would rather that the damned all chose salvation. But the choice is entirely up to them, and they choose poorly (defectively). He’s not going to take the choice away from them – for that would be to unmake them altogether (to be human just is to be free, in exactly the same way that triangularity just is trigonality; so that to take away the human being’s freedom is to take away his being qua human).
Going to hell, then, is rather like deciding to jump off a high cliff. It’s your decision. God doesn’t do it to you, you do it to yourself. And, as with jumping off a cliff, once you have made the decision irrevocably, why then you are everlastingly committed to your decision, and that’s all there is to it. From then on, all you can do is fall.
God is the rock of the cliff. I urge you – I urge myself – don’t jump.